Ati? Oh, hallo fine. Can you believe what time it is? I wanted to get this written by the beginning of the month and its already November 13. Well, You know that marks almost four months to the day since graduation, and wow, how it seems life has flown by. Life seems to have grown up all around me; only four months ago it was treating me as a high school senior (of which I couldn’t wait to outgrow) and now I am out on my own and wishing I was only a titchie again!
Whoever said time was a linear function – in that time always moves forward at a constant rate, it never slows, never speeds, never stops, and it certainly never makes a left turn (for that would cause time to be negative in the driveway of the nearest bank where you are finding that if time was negative you account may still be positive!) – may actually have been wrong. If you could just now follow all that I said you must have been in physics with me and be as tired as I am! Time seems to have a mind of its own, speeding forward in a mighty torrent or just slowly trickling down the face of your lives. I am finding that I am a victim of time – Four months have passed and I have slept only enough for one, worked enough for a year, have as much money as the day I was born, and yet this is supposed to be the beginning of the best years of my life? If this is how the rest are – Lord please help me!
Alrighty then, enough about time. Let’s consider the finer points of life. That’s why I am writing this – its because I don’t want to consider the more relevant points of life! Well, some of you (if you have a car) may still be struggling with gas prices. (It just happens that the price where I live is only $1.08 today but a while ago it was over a buck –fifty and that was quite perturbing to me. Well, while everyone complained of the exhorbitant gas prices all week long the pastor on Sunday reminded us of the things we should be thankful for. Imagine for an instant that your car ran on something other than gasoline! If our cars ran on Mott’s Applejuice I would be paying $3.00/gallon, Hungry Jack syrup would run my car at $10.62/gallon, Scope Minty Mouthwash is $14/gallon, Bubblebath at $16/gallon, Perrier Bottle WATER would be $16/gallon, White Zinfandel $20/gallon, Starbucks regular coffee would be $25.60/gallon, and for those of you who wear Hugo Boss cologne or equivalent it would run you about $3,200/gallon. Aren’t you thankful that your car runs on gasoline?
Well, a lot has gone on since the last time I scribbled out my ramblings and I wouldn’t be able to include even a fraction of the things I have learned in here (most of which I probably wished I had never known). Before I finish this – I will share a funny anecdote (wait – that’s like saying a humorously funny story, isn’t that grammatically illegal?).
Okay, it has to do with me grocery shopping. Now, I know a lot of you don’t shop for groceries but I, being swept away by time itself, have to put up with my own cooking (I no longer laugh in the face of Independent Living Class) which means I have to buy my own groceries. So, I went to one of the local megasuperjumbodouble-deckerwhopperultimateextravaganza grocery stores because when you sell everything under the sun – well, its often cheaper. That was the whole idea at least. So, I had a list, and a cart (I always manage to get a cart with a broken wheel or something!) and a malnourished checkbook. I couldn’t believe it! I was in that store for about an hour and a half and I still couldn’t find lemon juice. (This is used to cook with for those of you who still just eat cereal all day). LEMON JUICE – I mean – come on! Its like one of the most basic things! I walked down aisles with 50 kinds of cereal, 30 different kinds of chocolate chip cookies (just as a thought – they didn’t sell Baking Powder either!), a whole aisle of numerous assortements of sodas, and No LEMON JUICE. I even asked the assistant who couldn’t find any , he got his boss, she couldn’t find any – so I gave up. Then I needed boullion cubes. Ya know, those little wrapped cubes that come in a yellow bock labeled KNORR BEEF CUBES. Well, at least that’s what I thought they looked like. As for the lemon juice – these were nowhere to be found. I asked an assistant and finally after he had asked three other assistants they found ONE box of cubes in the entire megasuperjumbodouble-deckerwhopperultimateextravaganza grocery store and it wasn’t even Knorr. Well, it’s a sad story to say the least. I didn’t find the blueband for my bread, the Javahouse coffee, the Kimbo, the or the Vim (still haven’t cleaned my bathroom since I moved in.) However – believe it or not – Kweli! I found Weetabix! Yay, and even considered making a bet with the guys down the hall that they couldn’t eat one in under a minute to win back all the money that it would have cost me to buy a single box. So, there is the sad story of Jeremy Herrmann in the megasuperjumbodouble-deckerwhopperultimateextravaganza grocery store.
Best wishes to all of you. I am praying that things are going well for you and that God is using you to spread his love to those around you. Feel free to say hi and write me an email. If you would like to post a funny story concerning you and ‘These United States’ please just type it out and email me and I will put it up (if its good).
